Growing up I was told that dreams were for other people, not for me. And I have been a dreamer all my life and always expected that life could be different.
I was born with an insatiable curiosity… always exploring…always thinking about possibilities…chasing dreams.
I would be a writer… a singer…a traveler. I would explore the world…and leave Scotland to the Scots.
I would have many mad adventures, meet all kinds of people…many of whom I would eventually fall in love with. These dreams were kept alive as I moved beyond the insecurities, the fears, the illusions.
It’s been quite a story.
My family of origin in Scotland was a casebook study in dysfunctional alcoholism and violence. I left school at 15, left Scotland at 16, and moved to London looking for love in all the wrong places. I was pregnant by the time I was 19 and gave my daughter up for adoption when I was 20 and she was three months old. I married the first person who said he loved me and genuinely meant it… and divorced him six years later leaving him with our son who was then 3.5 years old.
Then I moved to San Francisco. and another chapter began. I was boxed in by fear, and drowned it with substance abuse until I started to deal with the thinking that drove me crazy.
And that was just the first 28 years.
The journey I took to stop the chaos was like an Eticket to Disneyland…a series of wild rides that gave me a hunger for adventure and risk taking that was never quite satisfied. I loved being in the Pirates of the Caribbean… but my head lived in The Small World.
It would take another 12 years before I truly began to understand how deeply the fear was embedded and what I would have to do to take the next step.
Fear was loud and obnoxious…I felt I was in emotional hell and I resisted every step of the way. My rage knew no bounds and it was agony as I struggled to make sense of it. Like the butterfly who struggles to escape the cocoon, I didn’t know if I was capable of escaping its grip.
With every step forward and backwards, I found the courage to shed another layer. All the emotions that had been kept safely inside burst open to reveal just how messed up I was…I felt like the phoenix rising out of the ashes of a charred black box.
Are You Fearless?
When faced with severe trauma you can either let it drown you in victimhood, or you can decide to take charge and face the discomfort of clearing away the debris of the past. But it’s hard to do that on your own. You need a sounding board.
Over the years I’ve worked with lots of people who helped me break through the fear barriers, and now have the privilege of working with highly accomplished women to help them achieve even more.
I needed to go beyond survival…to a life that thrived. To become a surthrivor!
I needed to face the fears, find my courage and take the next step. I would become more confident, feel more competent Feel the fear and do it anyway!
In time, I became a writer, a singer and a global nomad living on three continents. I raised three children, published three books, trained as a professional singer, made an CD of original songs, become a lay-cantor for synagogues in Paris and Amsterdam and…earned a black belt in karate on my 49th birthday and started a coaching career at the age of 54 with zero experience and became an expert on fear and the behaviors that drive it.
And I’m still growing! Who knew?
Who Do You Want To Become?
Carl Jung said, “I am NOT what happened to me, I am what I CHOOSE To BECOME?
You have your own stories of wounds acquired in childhood. What happened to you in the early part of your life may not have been a choice. But how you choose to feel about what happened to you and how you respond to that today…..THAT is a choice! You can choose to be the person you want to be…no one can tell you otherwise. You are nobody’s victim.
The sad reality is that most people believe that their past defines who they are, and they forget that in this moment…..this very moment of reality….this is your reality, right here, right now…you have a choice.
What I have learned is this…
Finding Your Fearless Factor
Finding your Fearless Factor is a journey of discovery that takes you down a path of uncertainty, wisdom and opportunity.
Becoming fearless is not the absence of fear, but it’s the courage to take the next step and keep growing with more confidence, taking ownership and responsibility for your life, and not being afraid to ask for what you want. Claiming your authority in the world.
When you do that you will astound yourself with what you can become.
You are one decision away from taking that next step toward the life you want….To becoming the person you imagine you can be…To creating a life that brings you satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness beyond anything you could possibly imagine….
But first, you must do the work!
Are you ready?
Jacqueline Wales is a keynote speaker and trusted advisor, who supports accomplished women to take the next step and move beyond fear so they can achieve more and embrace being fearless to create the life they truly want.
If you’re serious about making changes in your life, let me help you become FEARLESS and accelerate dynamic growth across all dimensions of your life.