Everyone needs guides in life – someone who has paved the way and can teach us how to overcome circumstances and reach for success. Someone who has the wisdom to help you understand where you stand in your own way, and how to move beyond the thoughts and actions that may not serve your best interests. Someone who is your beacon of light.
I’ve had my fair share of them.
In my childhood when everything around me was chaotic we had a neighbor who took us into her care when my father was too drunk or violent, or my mother was out working late hours to keep food on the table. Her simple nurturing act of sharing a meal allowed us to participate in healthy family moments, which allowed me to envision a future free of addiction and poverty.
My second guide was a social worker and psychiatrist who gave me love and support when I gave my first child up for adoption and believed I could be more than I thought I could be.
I was a textbook example of a troubled teen, and it would have been easy to dismiss my self-destructive choices as insurmountable. She reached into my darkness and offered a lifeline of possibility and hope. She helped me open up a dream.
Leaving school at fifteen, she encouraged me to think bigger and ultimately, I went back to school to earn a degree, but it didn’t stop the chaos. I was still the uncertain, fearful person underneath and the chaotic behavior continued.
Fear kept me small. Self-doubts, negative voices, the inability to ask for what I wanted, compromises that shattered my trust in myself, and in others. A nagging feeling of not being good enough, not being worthy… not deserving of love.
In my thirties, I understood how my self-destructive patterns were impacting my life and began the journey to overcome the thinking and behavior that kept me in crisis. Looking back on that period it amazes me that I was that person who was so utterly baffled by life’s challenges.
When faced with severe trauma you can either let it drown you in victimhood, or you can decide to take charge and face the discomfort of clearing away the debris of the past. But it’s hard to do that on your own. You need a sounding board.
To that end, I’ve worked with many coaches, teachers and therapists, as well as programs designed to help you breakthrough the habits and behaviors that keep you in a cycle of chaos.
I’ve covered many of the self-help modalities. Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, workshops, self-discovery tours, coaching, past life regressions, Gestalt, Reiki, Treiger, inner-child work, singing therapy, martial arts, spiritual retreats, and a whole lot of other practices that have been my guides over the years. I am a seeker of life. Always in search of solutions to become the real version of me.
I’m often asked why did I get into the business of fear?
To become fearless, I needed to confront the fears and find my courage to take the next step. Over time, I would become more confident, feel more competent, and learn that I can handle whatever it is that comes my way.
Learn, Grow and Achieve!
I had to learn to trust my inner wisdom and trust the decisions I was making for myself. I also trusted the guides I invited into my life, and who have helped me define myself on my own terms.
During my lifetime, I became a writer, a professionally trained singer and a global nomad living on three continents. I raised three children, published three books, made an CD of original songs, become a lay cantor for synagogues in Paris and Amsterdam and…earned a black belt in karate on my 49th birthday and started a coaching career at the age of 54 with zero experience to became an expert on fear and the behaviors that drive it.
You’ve heard the expression that it takes a village. No one succeeds entirely on their own. We need wisdom from those who have been there, done that, and know what it takes to do things differently.
When you are in fear, it’s important to believe things can be different. You need hope. You take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. You understand that most of your fears are the result of negative thinking, and lack of belief in a future that can be different. You understand that you have the power to change.
Who are your guides?
Do you have a trusted advisor who keeps you moving forward toward your desires and needs? Are you willing to make the changes you need to become more than you think you can be? Are you open and curious about possibilities, and refuse to accept limitations? Are you courageous enough to take the next step toward being the person you know you can be?
The vital questions of our existence are simple but not easy to answer. We need guides to steer us in the right direction.
- Who Am I?
- What Matters To Me?
- What Do I Want?
- What’s Getting In My Way?
My invitation to you is this…
Take the next step to meet the greatness of who you are without hesitation. Be willing to challenge yourself to take the next step, face the fear and uncertainty, and make choices that are bigger and bolder than anything you have done before. Surprise yourself with what’s possible and find the right guides to steer you in the direction you want to go.
And if you need a guide, then reach out. I may be able to help.
Thanks for reading.