Are You Losing Opportunities When You Second Guess Yourself?

Are You Second Guessing Yourself?

How many times a day do you ask yourself if you are making the right decision?

Or maybe you need to check in and ask someone what they think before you decide?

Perhaps you decide only to stop yourself from taking action because you’re not sure if it’s the right move?

This second-guessing creates ennui. We feel stuck. We feel disconnected. We don’t trust ourselves.

When we don’t make the decision, we lapse into apathy because we can’t decide what we want, what we need, or what path to take. Most of the time, we get caught in the fear of making the wrong decision, so we don’t make one.

Life is imperfect.

We will never get it right 100% of the time no matter how hard you work, how much you study, or how much you are willing to sacrifice. There will always be inconsistencies. We live our lives in limitation because we don’t take risks. Our indecisions limit our opportunities.

Personally, I’ve just spent the last two years rebuilding my business and there has been a series of setbacks that made me wonder if I had made the right decision. The journey has taken me down some dark alleys and I second-guessed my choices, but ultimately, I trusted my instincts and know I did the best I could, and I’m still working on it.

Much of our second-guessing is based on the fear of making the wrong choice.

The fear of not being good enough to meet the task.

The fear that others will judge you for the results especially if they don’t match the outcome you anticipated.

The fear of saying the wrong thing so you say nothing.

The fear of someone’s disapproval.

There are so many variations on this.

Many of us spend a great deal of time asking others if it’s all right. We think we are valuing their options, but what we are really looking for is validation for our own. This is at the heart of trust your decisions.

We spend our lives being influences by other people’s thinking, and also being limited by other people’s thinking.

  • How many times have you side-stepped your decision when someone voiced an oppositional opinion?
  • How many times have you bowed to someone else’s point of view even when you knew it was the wrong one because you were afraid to speak up?

I’m not saying it’s wrong to ask for other people’s opinions. It’s important that we test our theories or decisions. But ultimately, it’s what you feel in your gut that matters.

  • Does it work for you?
  • Is this serving your best interests?
  • What difference does it make?
  • How would your life change if you took that decision?

Hidden in your mixed-up thinking are the answers you are looking for. It is the inner knowing that we all have when we trust ourselves.

  • So next time you ask an opinion, ask yourself why you need it?
  • Are you seeking guidance or are you seeking validation?

When you place too much emphasis on others to help you make decisions you are delegating your responsibility to self.

There is a simple remedy for second-guessing.

  • When faced with a decision make a list of the pros and cons.
  • Remind yourself that there is no right or wrong answer and the only way you will find out which one is to test it. All decisions can be modified. You can make another one.
  • Trust your instincts. Play to your strengths. Make a commitment and see what happens.

Learn how to trust your decision-making skills. Be mindful of what you know, and the decisions you have made in the past. Trust your wisdom and you will learn how to trust your decisions so you don’t second-guess yourself and waste opportunities that could change your life.

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